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BOREDMIKE GENTRY says ..."I've been staked out in the desert and left for the boredom to pick clean." "Okay, the bear of boredom has thoomped out of the chute of tedium and is now languidly ripping me a new one." "I'm more bored than a bear in heat. Er, make that a bored bear in heat. A bored bear not in heat, sorry." "It's only 10:00 AM, and already I've been abducted by the serial killer of boredom, imprisoned in the creepy basement of tedium, and forced to put the lotion of ennui on my skin, or else I get the hose again." "The 500-foot cow of boredom is pooping on my village square." "The momma bird of boredom has premasticated a full meal of piping hot tedium and regurgitated it down my throat." "As for me, it's like the populace of a poor fishing village struck a dark bargain with the dread god Boredthulhu, and now they all bear its unmistakeable taint. And I just found out I'm related." "Meanwhile, in Bethesda, the wild boar of boredom has leaped into my bed of tedium and bitten me—rather apathetically—on the arm." "I was bored, but then I snagged some pumpkin pie. Now I'm still bored. But full of pie." "I've been stalking tedium through the dark sewers of a gothic city, but it turns out tedium runs in packs ... in The Underbored." CHRIS ACKERMAN says ... "And I've been killed, butchered, cooked, and eaten by the serial killer of boredom. In fact, you might say I'm in his stomach right now." "The office is a labyrinth, and I'm being stalked by the minotaur of boredom." "The giant...thingamabob of boredom is...doing...something to my...um...yeah... oh god." "I feel like someone took a 2x4 of bored and whacked me in the head." "It's like I accepted a dare to lick the frozen flagpole of boredom, and now I'm stuck." "I came here to be bored and chew bubblegum. ... And I'm all out of bubblegum." "Mike will continue to eat pie until he acquires a critical bored mass and collapses into a bored hole, sucking in all around him." "In space, no one can hear you yawn." "I took a job as the winter caretaker of the Bored Hotel, and now I'm completely snowed in." "I've been lacerated by the barbed whips of tedium, sending rivulets of torpor streaming down my body, and hung limp, arms outstretched, by the nails of lethargy to the cross, er, chair of ennui. —The Stupefaction aka The Boredom Of The Chris" STUART BOWEN says ... "Personally, I'm more bored than a generally active person in an environment that's not very intellectually engaging or fulfilling." "I feel like 20 gallons of bored in a 10 gallon hat." "It's like I'm a hapless scientist who's been bombarded with tedium, so that now, in times of stress or anger, I transform into The Incredible Bore. 'Don't bore me. You wouldn't like me when I'm bored.'" "Sleep, that's where I'm a ... not bored person." "Well a French passerby just made off with my camcorder of ennui, leaving me standing shoeless in the fountain of lethargy." "I've been trekking across the length and breadth of tedium, with hilarity ensuing everywhere I go (if by "hilarity" you mean "humdrum") in a little something I like to call Bordotrip." BRIAN MURPHY says ... "It seems like today I dressed myself in my clothes of boredom and I'm afraid to take them off." "The Boredom Beast has me pinned down and the Lazy Beast is giving me a 'pink belly.'" "Grandma Boring has me manacled to her front-porch swing and she's pulled out the Photo Album of Boredom. And I ain't even been offered no lemonade yet." "I am sad to say: the Mexican has bent me over the tortilla pounder of boredom and is currently redefining the meaning of 'sizzling fajitas.'" "In effect, since you've ingested more mass, you've just created more you which means, in effect, there is more of you to be bored.... QED: You are more bored with pie than without." Back to Hobbies. |