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Unless otherwise noted,
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is written by Brian Murphy
© 2006.
Review Archive
FILMS
Daredevil (2003)I walked out of the Daredevil theater at my local Googleplex annoyed. It had nothing to do with the fact that it wasn't a very good movie. Quite the opposite, the so-so script accompanied by the so-so acting and the wicked cool visuals were the reason why I was only annoyed and not downright angry. Herein I will relate to you my Daredevil movie-going experience:
It was one of those raining days after a big snow storm. Lots of people were out and about for the first time in days, trying to do some shopping before the next big weather system blew through our area. It was warm and wet and slushy but otherwise bright and cheery outside. Walking into the high-ceilinged cinema at the Reston Towne Centre (the place so fancy they have to misspell both "town" and "center") was like walking into something out of Jeremiah or the future scenes from Terminator. The two feet of snow we'd received earlier in the week was melting so fast, part of the ceiling collapsed onto the escalators and it was, for all intents and purposes, now raining inside the lobby.
I found my way to the darkened theater which was, to my delight, completely empty (not to mention dry). How wonderful! I could run up and down the aisles naked if I wanted, and no one would even notice. I picked out a nice seat in the center section (or is it "centre sectione?") on the end. I have really long legs and like to stretch them out into the aisle. I sat there for a few minutes when one person came in and had the common courtesy to sit all the way over there. This is going to be great, I thought. And then some stinky, loud teenagers came in. Fine, whatever. They'll shut up once the movie starts. And the their parents came in. And the parents decided to sit down right in front of me! I'm not joking about this. This theater probably seats 200 people. There are a total of two seats occupied by me and the lady way over there, and these Reston Yuppies have to sit directly in front of me. Bastards.
And to add insult to injury: The parents are louder and more obnoxious than their kids. "Get over here!" "Sit down!" "You can't see that close to the screen!" "No you can't have any more money!" "Share with your sister or we're going home!" Jesus, stop bitching and just sit down.
Now, I don't mind people talking in the theater before the movie starts. It's one thing to talk to your friend, it's quite another thing to force your conversation upon everyone else in the theater. (Everyone else being me and the lady way over there.) The man who stood in front of me, munching his popcorn, was a doctor. How do I know this? Because I've never heard someone make reference to being a doctor so much. "This buttered popcorn is really good. But it's horrible for you. I love it!" "I had to go into the practice earlier this moring for a few patients." "Here you go, kiddo--have some soda, it's not good for you, but it's tasty. I'm a doctor and I should know." "Gummi bears? Those things will stick to the inside of your [insert medical term here.]"
I've had doctors grab me and tell me to turn my head and cough—and these guys were less conspicuous as doctors compare to Dr. Popcorn here.
Fine. Whatever. This guy is a dick and their whole company of Reston Yuppies are inconsiderate and useless mouthbreathers. I can sit here in the dark and silently hate them. I've done it before. In fact, I'm probably doing it right now.
Lights go down. Adverts come on. I'm hating more. I hate the car commericials we're forced to sit through. I hate the computer commercials we're forced to sit through.
Someone big runs down the aisle and says, "I made it it." 190 empty seats in this theater and I get Mongo from Blazing Saddles sitting right in front of me. Great, he made it. Shit. I hate them for making me do this, and I hate that I'm concending the battle, but I move my seat to the other end of the theater. I was here first but I'm forced to yield my prime spot to their ever-encroaching yuppieness.
By the end of the preview trailers, I'm starting to cool down a little. The movie starts. The lights come up and the muzak turns on. But the movie's still playing. I sigh heavily, as if exhaling hard will make it all not so. I keep doing that, but it doesn't change the fact that we're now watching the movie with no sound. I crane my neck around and stare at the cretin who's supposed to be in the projection booth. But he ain't there. I breath heavy again and grump in my seat. Grr.
Believe it or not, this goes on for about 10 minutes. I grump, I sigh, I crane my neck. Other people get up and go out in the lobby to bitch. Yada, yada, yada, I've had about all I can take. I bump into the manager on my way out to get my money back. He tells me that he's fixed it but that he can't rewind the film. I walk out to get my money back but then stop. Faced with absolutely nothing to do at home, I suck it up and go back into the theater to salvage what's left of this movie.
So let's put it this way: I hated being in the movie theater, but I was determined to salvage something out of this morning at the movies.
So when I say that I didn't care for Daredevil, please understand that it's through the rose-colored glasses of hate which I was wearing that morning. When I say that I think Ben Affleck is a bad action hero, that Daredevil is filled with perversions of characer (Daredevil isn't gifted with superstrength or advance healing), silly moments (fighting on the playground), and a anticlimactic ending (Fisk sends away his entire security force?), please understand that my opinion is grossly weighed down by my theater ambiance.
Having said all of that, I thought a) Jennifer Garner looked really hot in her silver gown and that b) Jon Favreau was awesome as Foggy.
Other than that, I was dutifully impressed with the "shadow vision" and special effects, even if they weren't true to the character.
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