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Review Archive
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    		•

    FILMS

    Die Another Day (2002)
  • Starring Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, Toby Stephens, Rosamund Pike, Rick Yune, Judi Dench, John Cleese

  • Directed by Lee Tamahori

    • I have two friends. (Actually, I have many more than two—but for purposes of this, I'm just talking about these two specific friends.) One friend saw Die Another Day and though it "rocked!" The other friend said it was complete "dogshit." Now, these are two people who are both Bond fans and they are both people whose film criticism I take to heart. I greatly respect their opinions.

    These two opinions were so divergent and didactic and diametrically opposed and a whole bunch of other words that begin with "D" that I decided I needed to see this film for myself.

    And here's the verdict. They're both right. (How's that for an English-major answer for you?) Die Another Day is, at times, rockin' with its socks off and, at others, is nothing short of poo being flung 24-frames per second.

    There are things in this movie that just smack of people trying to make Bond cool and hip and young and able to relate to the kids. Which is, I'm sure you'll all agree with me, totally and utter crap. Bond doesn't need to be made any cooler. He's already the coolest cat in town. It is not cool to have him stealth surf upon the films' opening. It is also not cool to have him para-surf (or whatever you call it) toward the end of the movie. These scenes are, in the opinion of my second friend, complete dogshit. They're not exciting and not believable and, frankly, any Bond fan in the audience could've come up with 10 other, better, ways for Bond to get out of that situation that would've made Crisco say, "Damn, that's smoove."

    But there are parts of Die Another Day that, to quote the Irish bards, House of Pain, "gets out of its seat and jumps around." Most notably the wacked out plane-crumbling-apart at the end scene. That was pretty cool.

    Possibly the best note of this Bondic (Bondage?) Symphony was at the end of opening sequence. Bond gets captured. But wait, it's not like in other Bond flicks where 007 gets captured only because, minutes later, it allows for a bad-ass escape. No, no. Die Another Day sets itself apart from all previous Bond films in that James gets captured, is imprisoned, and isn't released for over a year. He's imprisoned, tortured, and beaten. Over and over again. In a sense, Bond lost. The eternal champion, the guy who always gets the girl and saves the day, in a very real sense, loses. I find this fantastic. This loss makes his victories, in all films future and past, so much the better. It adds a little more reality to his world. I like it. I wish they'd do this sort of thing more often with Bond.

    Is it absolutely ridiculous that one of the movie's main gimmics has to do with successful (not to mention completely unheard-of in the scientific community at large in the Bond world) genetic restructuring, and yet the super-scientists of the film can't seem to discover a way to perform a little plastic surgery and remove a pocketful of diamonds from the main badguy's face? Of course it is. But you know what? It's frickin' cool because that guy has frickin' diamonds in his face!

    The long and the short of it: Die Another Day isn't the best Bond flick and it ain't the worst. It has some kick-ass moments and some terrible moments. But I think that's part of the charm of James Bond films: Everyone goes for a different (sometimes multiple) reason. For some the attraction is the Smoove Superspy, for others it's Q's gadgets or to watch the hero Save The Day And Get The Girl, and for still others it might be the over-the-top action, the high-society parties, the espionage, or the parry and thrusts of James' verbal tet-a-tetes with potential paramours. Say what you will, but there is usually something for everyone in James Bond films.

    Regardless, I'm just glad they're still turning a profit—which means that the studios and the Broccolis will continue making them.

    One last point: Halle Berry was horrible. Oscar or not, she was awful in this flick. I was hoping the Mirada Frost character would push her out of the burning plane. But alas, I'm not in charge of these sorts of things.