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    		•

    FILMS

    The Transporter (2002)
  • Starring Jason Statham, Qi Shu, Matt Schulze, François Berléand, Ric Young

  • Directed by Corey Yuen

    • Warning: There is an incredible amount of silliness in this film. It's not silly in the same way that Dumb and Dumber is silly. It's serious silliness...if that makes any sense. The Transporter is silly and wacky and has some of the coolest, over-the-top ridiculous actions sequences that kick an absurd amount of ass. In fact, it's some of the coolest stuff I've seen this year.

    [Warning: Spoilers follow.]

    There's not much plot in The Transporter to spoil, but I will be talking about the film...so if you don't want the cool, actiony bits ruined, best to stop reading.

    Frank Martin (Statham) plays an ex-military man who is now a "transporter." He takes a package from point A to point B for a large sum of money and no questions asked. Simple enough. Of course, things go awry when he opens one of his packages and finds a girl, Lai (Shu), inside.

    The film tries to be clever by making use of her name, "Lai," and its homonym, "lie," to make the point that she can't be trusted. This doesn't work. Or rather, it might've if I was aware of her name when they say she lies all of the time. The Transporter is the type of film where you don't know anyone's name, and it makes absolutely no difference (until they pull a gag like this). See him? He's the hero, she's his love interested, he's the bad guy, he's another bad guy, and him? Oh, that's the French police officer who we think might be OK. He's been nice to the hero so far.

    The advertising for this film would have you believe that the troubles arise when Martin opens the package and discovers a beautiful Asian girl inside. The advertising would have you believe that his heart melts, he falls in love with her and finds himself breaking his rules, thus gaining a lot of enemies in the process. This isn't quite so. He finds her, is nice to her, but delivers her to the bad guys anyway. He gets paid and drives away. Then his car is blown up (when he's not in it) and he returns to the bad guy's house for revenge. Make no mistake, Martin's not there to save Lai, he's just there to get a new car. Of course, during the gunfight, Lai sneaked out of the house (while tied to a chair) and somehow managed to hide in the back of the car that Martin steals (yes, she's still tied to the chair).

    This is indicative of the silliness to come.

    The action in this movie is superb. And who knew Jason Statham was so ripped? Last I saw him was in Snatch and I had no idea he could kick so much ass. The fight scenes in this film are top notch, grade A fun. And long. The environments for the action are constantly changing, allowing our hero to do some really cool moves, wowing us with his choreography. There's one bit that's brilliant: Martin covers himself in motor oil to make himself slippery so the bad guys can't get him. In fact, the whole scene at the bus depot is fantastic.

    The scoring for this film is pretty awful. I usually don't notice this sort of thing—and that's how it's supposed to be. Music is supposed to add to a film, not jump out in front and be part of the show. It's supposed to elevate and enhance the mood of a particular scene. The soundtrack of The Transporter is oftentimes the exact opposite of the type of music that it should have. Perhaps this juxtaposition of opposites is supposed to evoke a zaniness or create a mood that the audience is unused to...but it just draws attention to itself by screaming, "I'm bad and I don't belong here." There are a few moments in the film where I actually laughed when the music cued. That can't be a good sign.

    And then there's the myriad plot problems. During the final showdown, there's two cargo trucks, but Martin only saves one. Oh well, we saved half of the people we were supposed to save. That's good enough, right?

    We're also left unsure of why or how Lai had to "escape" in the first place. For that matter, why did she have to be transported by The Transporter? Couldn't her father just go and pick her up? It'd be one thing if she was dead—that's something you'd call the transporter for....but during some of the movie, they just cart her around town with a gun to her head anyway. Why didn't they do that at the beginning of the film?

    Also, towards the end when Martin is chasing the bad guys down, he instinctually knows where they are and where they're going? That's a neat talent. But nowhere near as cool as parachuting out of a crop-duster and landing on top of a moving truck. (Wouldn't it have been simpler to just have the plane fly low and step out or drop down onto the moving truck?)

    To be honest, I expected a little better writing from Luc Besson. He did La Femme Nikita, The Fifth Element, The Professional, and The Messenger. I see a theme in his writing: Small, waifish girls who can, or want to, kick a lot of ass. That's fantastic. I like it—but Luc! You gotta have the shit make sense!

    Simple plots are OK but The Transporter's plot is plain. It's a darn good thing this movie has so many fun, ass-kicking scenes in it because the plot is onion-skin thin.

    I have my complaints, but I would definitely like to see this film again. It's irredeemably silly but Statham alone makes it categorically cool. The Transporter rocks. I'll prove it to you: Take out Statham and put in Jean-Claude Van Damme or Steven Seagal. See? This movie would've sucked without the Brit.

    Thank God for Statham!